For today’s slightly late substack. I’m giving you all a look at a film idea I pitched years ago to a production company. As usual, they liked it but it didn’t go anywhere. Like most writers I’ve got dozens of these.
It’s really quite frustrating!
THE IDEA
In a nutshell – Two hip young guys who believe old people are uncool take out a contract to have themselves killed before they reach 60. Forty years later they are enjoying life and don’t want to die, but the geriatric hitman who originally took the contract is determined to finish the job.
Byline – They’re ready to retire but not permanently.
SYNOPSIS
This is a story of two halves.
It’s the end of the 1990’s in anywhere USA. Luke and Nick are young, hip, testosterone filled guys in their late teens. They believe they are invincible and live life on a very shallow basis, existing for the moment and not even considering the future. The appearance of cool is everything for these two. They wear the right clothes, drive the right cars, go to the right places and know the right people. So, imagine their horror, when one day their Chevy hot-rod collides with a bus load of senior citizens. The old folk wander round in a daze, pants pulled up around their armpits, being told off by grumpy nurses and wetting themselves.
Luke and Nick are astounded at how terminally uncool the aged are.
Luke and Nick are astounded at how terminally uncool the aged are.
The event acts as something of an epiphany for the superficial pair and they both agree that they would rather die than end up old and uncool.
During a heavy drinking binge after the accident they form a plan to stop this unthinkable eventuality from occurring and hire a contract killer to end their lives before they reach 60.
One of their underworld acquaintances recommends an extremely reliable assassin. His name is Vincent Demario and he is a very proud Mafioso hitman with unparalleled references and an enviable kill record. They find Vincent during their drunken rampage and he agrees to take the hit. Mainly to get rid of them but also because they offer him a large amount of money on completion of the job. A contract is drawn up, a deposit exchanges hands and the deal is done.
The boy’s wake up the next morning with no money and only a very foggy memory of what had taken place. They assume the contract was a joke and throw it away.
Part Two
Forty years have gone by and it’s the year 2030. Luke and Nick are now in their late fifties and have turned into extremely conservative, respectable and successful businessmen. Both have done well for themselves and are looking forward to a relaxed and enjoyable retirement. They have both completely forgotten about the contract on their lives. However, Vincent has not. He is a very proud man with a reputation for always completing a contract. He is determined to fulfil this one, even though he is now in his 70’s and has a dodgy hip.
After several abortive attempts to kill Luke and Nick (Vincent has lost his edge a bit) they realise what’s going on and must track down Vincent and convince him to cancel the contract before it’s too late. Unable to find him they hire a young wannabe Mafioso (Ricky) to protect them. Ricky takes the job (his first) without realising that the man he is protecting his clients from is Vincent, his mentor.
Much comedy and drama ensues as Vincent sets about fulfilling his final contract while Nick, Luke and Ricky try desperately to stop him.
It all comes to a head when a wounded Vincent (Ricky shoots him) finally captures Nick and Luke and is preparing to kill them, knowing if he does there will be no one to help him and he will also die. It’s up to Nick and Luke to convince him that life is worth living, even in the twilight years.
Will they they succeed or will the contract finally be fulfilled?
I’d watch that.
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I must say it's wonderful concept - I'd love to see it filmed, my Dad (as far as I know him) even more!
What a brilliant idea!!!