I recently bought a bookcase off Trade Me because I was too mean to buy a new one.
It was pink.
I didn’t want a pink bookcase.
It didn’t look pink in the photos.
Nowhere in the description was the word ‘pink’ used.
When I saw it in the flesh I thought to myself. “Is it just the light or is that bookcase a bit salmony?”
I’d already given the seller forty bucks by then and he’d disappeared inside, closing the garage door with, what can only be described as, indecent haste.
Leaving me standing in the driveway with my new coral coloured bookcase.
I would also not describe it as being in ‘good condition’ as he had. A bit grubby and bashed around would have been more accurate.
Still, Caveat Emptor and all that.
I loaded my new purchase into the back of my car, annoyed I hadn’t mentioned my dissatisfaction to the seller.
This is very much a Kiwi thing. We don’t make a fuss unless we absolutely have to.
“It’s okay, I’m sure you didn’t mean to drive into my wing mirror, though I will ask you to move your 4x4 forward a scooch; it’s parked on my foot.”
Back to Trade Me.
I’ve dabbled in both buying and selling with varying degrees of success, mostly not much. The majority of the items I try to sell remain unsold, due to being pieces of crap no one wants.
I have successfully bought a number of vintage board games which I paid way too much for and then tried to sell again when my collection got too big. I ended up giving most of them away. A captain of industry I am not.
Another thing I am not, is handy.
Which will become evident as the saga of the pink bookcase continues.
Clearly, the colour was an issue but having paid hard-earned cash for it, I wasn’t going to bin it.
This left with me with two options: I could pay someone to paint it or paint it myself.
In a moment of utter madness, I decided to do it myself. This, despite copious evidence over the years that I have none of the required skill nor the patience to finish the job.
Still, once I decide on a course of action, I won’t quit – unless it gets too hard or I just can’t be bothered.
Still, once I decide on a course of action, I won’t quit – unless it gets too hard or I just can’t be bothered.
The first step was to go to Mitre Ten and buy painting stuff. My plan was to get the cheapest possible equipment which is always a great approach to DIY.
There was paint in the garage, left-over from some long forgotten painting job, so I figured that would do. I knew the paint was white-ish but had no idea what it was. Gloss, Matt, Oil, Emulsion? Probably one of those. Didn’t care. It was there, it’d be fine.
Photo by henry perks on Unsplash
In Mitre Ten I made the mistake of asking a guy in overalls about sandpaper. I was subjected to a twenty minute lecture on the various grades I’d need to use. I nodded sagely then bought one sheet of medium once he’d left. No way was I shagging around with more than a quick whip-over.
The bookcase should be thankful I was sanding it at all.
I got stuck in. Did a half-arsed sandpapering job, then powered into the painting, hoping I’d get away with one coat.
After the end of the first session the bookcase was still pink. My clothes, the garage floor, the bumper of my car and the cat were now white.
Half-way through splashing paint everywhere I decided to mitigate the damage to the floor by putting drop-sheets under the bookcase.
Ha! Like I’d have drop-sheets.
I used Handee-Towels as an alternative, hoping they’d live up to their name.
After the second coat (which was definitely going to be the last) the bookcase was slightly less pink but the Handee-Towels had stuck to the sides and bottom of the dried paint.
What I should have done was re-sand and re-paint but, as I said, that’s what I should have done. Instead, I uttered the words that have cursed me throughout my life.
“Fuck it, that’ll do.”
I now have an off-white bookcase, with a pinkish hue and a bottom that looks like it might have leprosy.
With the benefit of hindsight, I should have just bought a new one.
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Lol...
Haha, this sounds like the way I would do DIY too “it’ll work out fine..” I’m sure it’ll be a new statement piece in your house!