A Welsh Rare Bit.
In preparation for our trip to Ireland, my mate Snow and I bought a tent and some camping equipment.
We did zero research and didn’t even think about the size or shape of the tent or what its comfort/weatherproof properties were.
We just bought the cheapest one.
In the writing world, these last few sentences are called foreshadowing, which means setting up something that will come into effect later in the story.
In this case, it could also be known as impending doom.
Buying anything based solely on price is generally not the wisest course of action but financial constraints were in play. However, with the benefit of hindsight, spending a few extra quid would have been a much smarter move.
You will have noticed by now that there is a reoccurring theme to my misadventures. I barrel headfirst into situations, woefully underprepared and with little consideration or regard for consequences.
It’s a strategy I highly recommend but we’ve established I’m incredibly irresponsible.
Thus prepared, Snow and I set sail for Ireland, which isn’t a figure of speech as we were too cheap to take a flight and took the ferry instead.
This meant catching a train from Euston station in London to Holyhead in Wales.
At least, this is what we did according to Snow’s diary of the trip, which he forwarded to me as a memory jogging tool. This is a stroke of luck as my own memories are fuzzy at best. It was thirty odd years ago so cut me some slack.
I don’t remember Holyhead at all.
I’m sure it’s a very nice seaport town and my lack of recollection should not be seen as a reflection of the city or its environs.
Or maybe it should.
You’d think I’d remember something about the place but let’s be generous and put that down to a long train trip (three hundred and sixty three kilometers) and a journey time of over six hours.
After reading about Holyhead, I realised I’d missed out on the following attractions, of which only one actually attracts me.
Here’s a fun game. Guess which one?
Firstly, we have the Holyhead Maritime Museum which is housed in Wales’s oldest lifeboat house (clue - it’s not this one).
Then we have Penrhos Country Park, the number four thing to do in Holyhead, according to Tripadvisor.
Now, I was prepared to exclude this straight away, but then I saw a photo of the park. It didn’t feature stunning scenic wetland vistas or a picturesque woodland walk, oh no.
The picture was of a cemetery.
The thing that struck me instantly were the names on the gravestones; Tiggy Puss, Dinkie, Whisky and Brandy.
I assumed these were traditional Welsh names and my mind wandered back to days of yore where Tiggy Puss, Whiskey and Brandy would meet at the local tavern for a pint of braggot and a plate of leeks and chips. They’d moan about how Dinkie hogged the crempogs at the last dawnsio gwerin (look it up) and then pop out for a bit of hedgelaying.
On closer inspection I also spotted the names ‘Sooty’ and ‘Champ’ and it dawned on me that this might be a pet cemetery.
I was strangely disappointed. I’d love to meet someone called Tiggy Puss.
I was strangely disappointed. I’d love to meet someone called Tiggy Puss.
Using a photo of a pet cemetery to advertise the park intrigued me somewhat, but not enough, so this wasn’t the ‘attractive’ attraction either.
No, the thing I was immediately drawn to was that Holyhead’s cliffs were used for coasteering, which is a local water-sport that involves jumping off cliffs at different heights.
They had me at ‘jumping off cliffs’.
Photo by Matt Cannon on Unsplash
Sadly, I didn’t learn any of this until later, so the cliffs remain un-jumped off by myself and Snow.
According to his diary, while on the excruciatingly long train journey we chatted to a few other low-budget travellers and received some interesting intel on ‘must see’ attractions in the Emerald Isles (pubs).
We then boarded the ferry, had a pie and some sandwiches, watched Police Academy in the TV lounge and played arcade games.
I know what you are thinking: Here are two erudite, sophisticated travellers, out to experience all the cultural and artistic wonders the world has to offer.
That was us alright. Exactly like James Bond but not so much 007 as 010101.
Licensed to kill …. Donkey Kong.
If you enjoy this post and would like to read more like it please subscribe and share it with your friends. It’s currently free and I’m trying to build a subscriber base, because, you know, I’m a writer and we have a constant need for validation.